i love playing the gtar

Only guitar players would understand the level of difficulty this is. If my hands were big enough, I’d be able to move around more swiftly but there’s a barre chord that’s quite a stretch. I’m so keen to get an acoustic guitar.

So my friend, Metal Dave, let me borrow his acoustic. It sounds so much better already playing this on an acoustic.

I really want an acoustic guitar… a Cole Clark or one of those smaller Taylor guitars☹️

I should start playing guitar more often. People who have heard me play say I’m really good but I always doubt my ability like nah, I’m not that great. I don’t know, I guess no one ever thinks they’re good enough when it comes to anything so yeah.

But I was thinking maybe I should start learning a bunch of fingerpicking covers and start busking on the weekends to try and make extra money. I’d have to really work on getting enough confidence more than anything. You would think if I had no problem getting naked in front of other people, it wouldn’t be such a big deal but music is literally my passion so it is a big motherfucking deal🥵if someone ever said to me that I wasn’t good enough when it came to music, that’s like heartbreaking and soul crushing at the same time.

I’ve started to really fall in love with music again. Especially the guitar. Well, I guess that’s normal. I did play for 10 years. Dang, that’s like the longest committment I’ve ever made to anything in my life lol

I want a cole clark angel fuck

where there is love, i’ll be there… i fucking love the melody to this song

I need a fucking acoustic guitar. I used to have 3, why don’t i have one anymore🥵

I kept 2 electric guitars and i have no amps lol. This sounds so twangy and i had to tune the guitar by ear cause i’m lazy to use a tuner. Anyway i’m gonna try and borrow an acoustic guitar from someone cause this would sound so much better on a acoustic guitar… yeah i totally just asked my friend, Metal Dave, if he’s got one I can borrow. The guitar is so much fun, fuck i forgot how much though. I played the guitar as soon as i got home today. I played for like 4 hours again… nuts

Gosh i forgot what it was like to stress over small things like but a fun kinda stress. Like when my fingers just don’t move to the right fucking spots… it’s like gahhhh come on brain. But the co-ordination in this song is fucking nuts, it’s hard. But the challenge is fun and once you actually get it, it’s like oh yes.


I don’t think I’ve ever written out my bucketlist. I think I’ve just kept it in my head. Besides I’m pretty impulsive and have always gone for what I want. So, here we go.


  • Socotra (I’m not sure how the hell I’ll get there but I’ll try)
  • Northern lights
  • Roadtrip U.S (have the done West but would like to do the East)
  • Roadtrip Europe (I’m slowly developing a soft spot for Europe since I’ve been digging so much European history as of late)
  • Backpack Asia (this would be fucking epic)
    Machu Picchu
    Coney Island (I have visited NY like 3 times or some shit but have never been to Coney Island)
    Africa (legit all over Africa, the hidden gems and all… hello, Egypt)
    Coral Bay


  • Hot air balloon
  • Skydiving
  • Marathon (should totally start gearing up for this since I love running anyway)
  • Pride Parade like in some big ass city
  • Brazilian Carnival
  • Coachella… omg how could I forget
  • Glastonbury
  • SxSW Music Conference
  • Meet Flume… somehow, I don’t know
  • Big ass sporting event like the the Superbowl or something
  • AFL Grand Final
  • Romantic dinner on a rooftop
  • Meet the Dalai Lama
  • Meet a well known porn star like Asa Akira or what’s that old guys name… Ron Jeremy? Lol. Actually I think Abella Danger would be cool to meet. Wait actually I HAVE met a porn star already! I have met ummm what’s her name… Jessica Rhodes?

I can’t think of anymore but I know there would be a lot. Ahhh so much to do, so much to see. I’m gonna revisit this bucketlist in 5 years time. I’m so determined to do all of this… I gotta die tryin’. That’s all I can do in this lifetime.

I have decided

That Level 2 of this course is going to stay purely for my own viewing because it is confronting as fuck to the point where I’m like omg there’s so many things wrong with me (there is but there isn’t)

But I’ve told myself to go above and beyond. I’m not going easy on myself, I’m being critical as fuck, and really really really confronting a lot of my shit.

You know there have been several moments where I’m like, oooh that hurts and stings my ego a little bit. And by a little bit… I mean A LOT.

I wonder if this is what the aftermath of taking DMT is like. The ego just totally destroyed.

But y’know. There is no such thing as ego death even if someone says they’ve experienced it. I’ve realised our egos are still “essential”. Perhaps it shouldn’t be our main driving force in life but we still need it in certain moments. Anyway… time for bed. I get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow but I’m sleepy as fuck now so…