Today was a mixed bag. I had a moment to myself at work today when I heard the girls I was sitting with engaging in small talk. It was weird cause it’s so easy to engage in the small talk but I just sat there with no absolutely no desire, no curiousity, I just wasn’t interested but at the same time I wasn’t even judging them in my head – I was just allowing them to be. And I felt totally… not content but like calm and normal if that makes sense. There were moments today where I drifted off in the past, and I think instead of trying to resist it, I just let it happen but reminded myself that everything is ok. But anyway… Day 5. Here we go…
As I progress through this level of the course, I intend to practice being mindful and refrain from judging myself or others.
I am willing to let go of the past and be humble enough to let things be different now.
Did you respond rather than react?
I responded but there may have been times where I reacted also. I didn’t over react in any sense if I can recall correctly.
Did you communicate authentically rather than defend and attack?
I communicated. I try not to attack and if there’s a inkling for me to be defensive, I kinda just let shit go through me instead.
Did you acknowledge your uniqueness rather than compare yourself with others?
Acknowledge my uniqueness.
Did you focus on who you are becoming rather than dwell on the past?
I dwelled on the past today several times throughout the day but I’m ok with that.
Did you remain generous with yourself rather and others rather than being critical and stingy?
I was as generous to myself and others as much as I could.
Did you remain open and receptive rather than push, dominate and manipulate to gain control?
I was open and receptive today.
Did you remain mindful rather than unconscious?
I remained mindful.
Did you remain responsible rather than blame or deny?
I remained responsible.
Did you remain humble rather than judgemental or righteous?
I remained humble when possible.
Make a note in your journal of what you specifically don’t like about yourself in each of the following areas:
Appearance – your body or sense of aesthetic
My hair. I got a hair cut like a month ago but it’s growing long already.
Performance – your ability to produce results and achieve your goals
I am a selfless worker and try to be as considerate as I can when it comes to my co-workers.
Contribution – your ability to have impact and make a difference
I know I made a difference today.
Creativity – your ability to be imaginative and inventive
Individuality – your ability to value your essence and acknowledge your uniqueness
I was talking about the past to a co-worker. I told her how stupid I used to be when I was younger but aren’t we all like that? But I acknowledge that the past is something I cannot change but I don’t allow it to define me in any way whatsoever.
Love – your ability to love and be loved
Sensitivity – your ability to be kind, caring and compassionate
When I could, I made sure to ask the people around me if they were ok. Compassion is important.
Intuition – your ability to be wise, perceptive and intuitive
Respond to the following:
1. My Achilles Heel is my anxiety
Take a few quiet moments to muster your compassion and acknowledge how your self criticism makes you feel.
2. What parts of myself am I now pledging to accept?
I am pledging to accept the present.
3. Where am I coming from and which part of me drives my choices and actions?
I’m coming from my Authentic Self.