Mahirap.

That’s a Tagalog word that has several meanings depending on the context of the dialogue. Usually I hear it when one is describing something that is “difficult”.

I can’t find an English word that describes exactly how I feel unless I were to string together several words like… a mix of emotions.

Mahirap: difficult, hard, poor, troublesome, awkward, cumbersome, arduous, tough, exacting, baffling, scarce, rugged, inconvinient, formidable, strenuous, trying, painful, hard up, uphill, heavy, sweaty, miserable, difficult to accomplish, poverty-ridden