14.10.19

I don’t know what it is.
This state of confusion is all part of the process, right?
When is this gonna be all over?
When does it end?
All the residual emotions go away eventually, I know that already.
I remind myself there’s not a set timeframe for these kinds of things.
If I feel a certain way, I allow myself to feel that certain way.
If I overthink, I allow myself to overthink but always remind myself mere thoughts do not define anything.
I‘m grateful for solitude when it is solitude and feels like solitude.
When the lights are out and I’m left with nothing but my thoughts — it’s these moments that do not feel like solitude.
The freedom is too much at times, it strangles me.
I enjoy the solitude but not the challenge of being alone.
Most of the time I take two steps forward.
Only to find myself back at square one.
Bitter. Sweet. Melancholy.
How did we become just empty voids to fill?
That’s the saddest part.
A mix of emotions.
A state of confusion.
I’ve felt this before.
With you.
And now I feel it all over again.
Within myself.

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