31.10.19

Dang yoga was hard today but my handstands are getting more balanced which is pretty rad.

I did an hour of yoga today even though I was so tired. The rain was so loud last night, I think it woke up the entire town at like 3am.

I did 15 minutes of meditation today. Which was by far the best fucking session of meditation ever.

Man after yesterday, I was a little nervous before meditation like what if yesterday was just a one-off but today was fucking next level.

I’m sitting down and I start taking several deep breaths. The word “focus” seems like hard work but focus in meditation is light work.

Anyway, since I keep my eyes open during meditation now — the craziest thing happened. My focal point that I stare at, which was the duvet on my bed, started to breathe with me. It was literally moving as if it had life — it was breathing. It happened for about 8 seconds and then it stopped. Can someone please explain this phenomena or hallucination to me?

Anyway, I decided to closed my eyes about halfway through the session and the craziest thing happened…

My mind is usually filled with a bunch of thoughts. And I thought well when I do close my eyes during meditation, the thoughts come instantly. But no that didn’t happen today. Instead when I closed my eyes… I don’t know how to explain this…

It’s like I was watching myself outside of my own body. Does it make sense? Probably not. But ok.

If that’s what it feels like to be in the now then it feels awesome. I opened my eyes and I literally was so happy, I just started laughing. It wasn’t a haha-this-is-funny kinda laugh. It was a omfg that was fucking awesome kinda laugh.

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