31.10.19

I did an hour of yoga today even though I was so tired. The rain was so loud last night, I think it woke up the entire town at like 3am.

After yesterday, I was a little nervous about meditation like what if yesterday was just a one-off but today was actually fucking next level.

I’m sitting down and I start taking several deep breaths. Anyway, since I keep my eyes open during meditation I decided to close them about halfway through the session and the craziest thing happened…

My mind is usually filled with a bunch of thoughts. And I thought well when I do close my eyes during meditation, the thoughts come instantly. But no that didn’t happen today. Instead when I closed my eyes… I don’t know how to explain this…

It’s like I was watching myself outside of my own body. Does it make sense? Probably not. But ok. And to my surprise it lasted for quite some time. I just felt like I was outside of my own body but I don’t know who or what I’m referring to when I say ‘I’ but I know that it’s… me. And I felt like I was nothing but at the same time I felt, um, a strong connection to everything around me. I don’t really know how to explain what happened and the feeling. I just know that I want to experience it again.

I opened my eyes and I was so happy, I just started laughing. It wasn’t a haha-this-is-funny kinda laugh. It was a omfg that was fucking awesome kinda laugh.

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