06.11.19

I felt a little heavy this morning like I didn’t get a deep sleep last night. I’m a little bit sore from yesterday after working on my upper body strength. My muscles are aching a bit.

I meditated and did yoga just then focusing on my upper body. This entire week I’ll be focusing on my upper body strength. It was a work out alright. You would think yoga is relaxing but when you don’t actually have the strength for the poses, it becomes exercise. Which is a win-win for me because I do enjoy exercise… said no one ever😂😂

I ended up doing like two separate sessions of meditation. The first session I took several deep breaths and then a wave of emotion hit me and I cried. It was such a releasing cry — you know the one where it’s like you’ve bottled up so much inside that you just had to let it all out. Yep, that happened. So, I cried. As much as I needed to. And then about 10 minutes later, I said to myself, let’s do yoga.

My period is pretty much done so why the river of tears? Well, a feeling hit my gut, and I had this sudden realisation. And it made me sad more than anything. It was a feeling of release, surrender and acceptance.

Releasing what is. Surrendering to what is. And accepting what is.

You know I think I mentioned in a previous post that I’m so much more in tune with my inner self, with my intution and it’s been such a long time since I’ve felt like this.

As much I try to fight with my instincts, I just end up losing. The universe just keeps sending out the messages to me.

I dreamt of my ex last night. I can’t remember what happened. I just know she was in it cause I saw her face.

I sit back and reflect on the lessons I learned and the mistakes I made in my last relationship. I don’t know the stages of a break up but this is definitely one that is unique from my previous relationship. I feel like this time, I’m really healing, not forcing anything but acknowledging everything.

In previous breakups, I’d be like, well, I’ll build myself, I’ll become better, kinda like a mentality to make my ex’s realise what they lost… that’s what the ego does. Guess I had a massive ego back then.😩R.I.P to my ego.

I’m gonna go read my book. That is it for now folks.

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