07.11.19

I just did 40 minutes of yoga followed by 20 minutes of meditation.

I took it easy with the yoga as I needed to let my muscles and body rest so no crazy hard stuff today, just stretched my body really.

I managed to reach deep meditation, it was about 15 minutes in and the last 5 minutes was frikken epic. It was slightly different from the previous deep meditations I’ve experienced but nonetheless it felt awesome. My mind was relaxed, I was fully present and I can’t explain how good it feels to get there. And exactly what it feels like but in the moment, you don’t feel as if you’re human. Like, don’t get me wrong, I am human but how I am physically is like, nothing, it doesn’t mean anything. I don’t feel like I’m this physical thing, I feel like I’m something else, like energy or light. It’s hard to explain but that’s what it feels like.

It’s pretty amazing. This is what keeps me going back to meditation every day.

Today was stressful at work to say the least. I felt stressed even when I got home. And all I could say to myself was I can’t wait to just sit down and meditate and do yoga. So I did that. And I feel so much better now. It’s nice to have an outlet to turn to when I feel stressed, overwhelmed, angry etc.

Speaking of angry, it’s been a while since I felt angry. Actually since I felt a lot of negative shit. Meditating has definitely helped me. Even when I do start to feel frustrated, it is becoming easier for me to process my frustrations in my head rather than speak or act out my anger and frustrations. God, it’s been so long since I’ve been in this mindframe. How the world made me so cold and bitter, not sure how but it’s a nice feeling to once again become my true self. Well, I’m getting there that’s for sure.

I know who I really was underneath it all. It was just a matter of getting back to being the real person that I am.

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