14.11.19

Oh god. What a day. Going to rewind it back all the way to the beginning.

Well, last night I had a terrible, terrible sleep. It was quite hot. I woke up like every 2 hours.

Last night, I dreamt of my ex again. This time I can remember what happened.

This isn’t the first dream I’ve had where she’s had a new lover.

Anyway in this dream, she had decided to reach out to me and tell me about a co-worker she likes. It’s some foreigner guy but he’s like Arabian and his name is David (not pronounced the western way but it was pronounced like duh-vid). And he was lanky and a bit slim and he had facial hair and I was just like ok it’s your new boyfriend.

Anyway my ex is messaging me and she’s like oh he is so hot and he likes me. And I think I was kinda just like, are you sure you’re gonna be happy with him and her answer was like, “well, I wanna be with him because he’s older and I will learn a lot from him.”

And I just remember how I felt in my dream like, the situation was beyond my control. There was nothing I could say or do to influence the situation. And there were all these scenarios of my ex and her new lover together and she looked so happy and it was a little bittersweet for me. I woke up this morning and I was kinda just like, that is like the worst dream to have, it was just cruel. Even though it was just a dream, it lets me know where I am and I wanna get to a point of indifference.

So, I was pretty tired today. I didn’t feel physically tired. I just felt emotionally drained. Work turned out to be super busy and it was a long today.

If there was anything I was looking forward to, it was yoga and meditation. I took it easy today with the yoga. I did just 50 minutes of light yoga work because yesterday’s session was pretty intense. And i did two split mediation sessions, both were 10 minutes long.

I just wanna sleep well tonight. And I don’t wanna have any messed up dreams. Those kinda dreams are a bit too soon.

I’m outta here.♥️

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