17.12.19

My spirits are feeling pretty elevated at the minute. I did an hour of yoga with my sister today which was fun!🥰

We went to the farmers market together after I finished work today so we can have a nice healthy salad. My mum prepared the salad for us while my sister and I did yoga.

I think I held the bakasana for 20 seconds today. I held it for a long time, I was so shocked and amazed and I’m pretty proud of my yoga progress so far. Yoga had changed me in so, so many ways. It really has. It is the safest place for me to surrender to. Ahhh…

I think I said in a previous post that I know I would have lost weight if it’s the first thing my sister says when she sees me today and sure enough, it was. She was like, “omg you’re so small.” And I was like, yup it’s from yoga and healthy eating.😆

I’ve officially entered that two week timeframe of “waiting for my period” so it’s important for me to stay as grounded and discipline as much as possible. The breath becomes more important during this time. Balance becomes more important. Yoga becomes more important. Surrendering and self awareness becomes more important.

You know I miss my ex. Sometimes I wonder if there’ll ever come a time when it stops but I don’t know. In the moments I feel present, I feel like, I just hope she’s happy and well, and everyone around her are happy and well. You know I’ve never had a problem cutting connections in the past barring a few friendships. Like, there’s one friend who I still feel a strong connection with even though our friendship kinda ended suddenly and we haven’t spoken to each other for years now. I know at some point in the future, we will be able to rekindle that connection. When the time is right. And with my ex, I still feel like there’s a strong connection. Even though we haven’t spoken to each other for quite some time now. And I don’t just “think” that there’s a connection there going by the fact that I miss her. I know there’s still a connection between us because we both haven’t let go. I’m not delusional, it is instinct and intuition. We’re oceans apart but I can still pick up on her energy.

I really believe every intimate and non-intimate relationship is a karmic one. There’s a cycle that needs to be broken whether you’re aware of these cycles or not. When the cycle doesn’t get broken after a relationship, it carries onto the next relationship. If the cycle gets broken, you’ve learnt your karmic lesson.

I have done and still am doing everything in my power to break every negative cycle I’ve needed to break. Russell Brand says, you can change, if you want to. And I totally agree. You don’t have to be the same person you were yesterday, you really don’t.

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