It is what it is, I guess…

The other day, a friend of mine had asked me to be one of her witness as part of the partner visa her and her partner are applying for.

It’s kinda weird that it’s come to this. It’s not weird. Just… I don’t really know the right term to use.

She used to live with my ex and that’s how I met/know her.

I had a feeling that I would get asked but I always thought my ex and I would be together when all this unfolded.

I kinda just sit here and think yeah, it coulda been us and it shoulda been us in this position. Sometimes I wonder if my ex had ever wanted to commit that much or that far into our relationship. Sometimes I think she never wanted it. But that was my problem, not hers.

My friend once told me… “Cause when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” That’s what I always thought when I was with her. Like, yeah the rest of my life is with her.

You think it for so long and then suddenly everything changes in a heartbeat.

It was hard, and sometimes it still is… you know having to pick up the pieces and to continue life from where I left it before I met her.

I was so sure I knew what I wanted before, that it didn’t matter where I was going to be or what I was going to do, I always thought she’d be there until the end. I always thought I’d be there until the end. I guess I always thought the end wouldn’t come around that soon.

Yeah, you can say it was bad timing or it was all my fault. I don’t know but I try not to let it consume me much these days. I just try to let it all go. That’s all I can do.

Even if I never get to experience a love of the same intensity again, at least I got to for a small part of my life because some people never get the chance to.

Yeah, some people say, that’s just life.

But is it?

Is this the life I chose?

Well, I hope one day someone will be there with me and we can both say… yep, this is the life I wanted, with you.

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