13.09.20

This sucks. Kind of. I mean it only sucks if I think it sucks.

I’m talking about my, uh, romantic/love life. I have met several potential partners and not that I’ve given so much thought about this but I guess it’s been on my mind enough that I’ve got to write about it and just get it off my chest.

I kinda just feel torn between the many options I have. Not that I’m exclusively dating anyone right now because I don’t know exactly who I would choose to date. Right now, I would say I’m probably torn between two people. I’m kinda leaning towards someone I have recently met because there’s kind of just this connection between us that feels so strong. But I’ve known the other person for nearly the past year and we’ve gotten fond of each other but I feel like something is a bit off between us. I think it’s just me. I feel like the latter and myself would have the potential to be really fucking amazing together or potentially destroy each other. And it just feels like a big risk. That’s why I’m leaning more towards the former option because I feel like we could have the most fruitful, rewarding and peaceful relationship. But I do have to do a bit more observing and I still want to get know both on a much deeper level.

I have learnt a lot from my previous relationships and my criteria or my “check list” is a lot more specific. I definitely do not want a repeat of history or go through the same mistakes and situations in the past. There is a big part of me that’s afraid to get hurt and disappointed.

This time, I’ve become so much more closed off and guarded about who I want as a partner.

I know no one can be perfect but there’s just a lot that I have to consider.

Options, options, options… I don’t want options. Just priorities.

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