23.01.21

I want to write this and look back on it in a few months time and observe any difference in my thinking process and the manner in which I express myself. I’m currently on a 23 day streak of practising Zen meditation.
Firstly, there’s several kinds of meditation but I focus on two which in Western culture we refer to these as ‘mindfulness’ and ‘Zen’.
I view mindfulness meditation more so as observing ones’ thoughts and allowing them to pass free of judgement. I practice this form of meditation because it often leads me to introspection and insight, as well as see where my ego generates false senses and ideas about myself and others.
On the other hand, Zen meditation for me is more focus on the posture and the breath which then allows me to be free of thoughts. When chains of thoughts do kick in, I check back in with my posture and breathing. Practising Zen allows me to be present which is very rare for me throughout any given day.
I have had an on/off, love-hate relationship with meditation for the past couple of years. I just wish that there wasn’t such a gap in between the days of consistent practice to weeks on end of skipping it.
Initially I started practising meditation to go along with my yoga practice. Because I often avoid the meditational aspect in yoga out of laziness, I started to approach meditation and yoga as separate practices. I mean you would think the meditational aspect in yoga is the easy part but… wrong!
During a time of consistent practice, I experienced some kind of… I have no idea what to even refer it as. I journal frequently and wrote about it. I do know that the sole reason I practice Zen everyday is to experience the same thing again. Not just for a second time, I’m talking over and over again. I think the more I try to force it, the less likely it will occur so I understand I shouldn’t force, just allow.
Ahh… I don’t know. I think everything I’m trying to explain is difficult to comprehend with language. Like, if you’ve never eaten fried ice cream, it may be hard to imagine but you can probably get close because you’ve probably had something fried and you’ve probably had ice cream…🤷🏽‍♀️

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